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Dying or Reaching?

Ah. Another birthday.  Another reflection. Another spurring for something more, something greater, something deeper that registers who I am and where I'm going.

Oh, that we might grow, might change, might become something different for humans' sake.  Stagnancy begets apathy, generating unproductive contentedness. Being stagnant is death.  Moments still tick, but days fly with no accounting of life.  Make moments count. Count your moments. They establish days, numbers in time that stand firm, solidifying existence and personality and character.  I don't want to be sixty and still struggle with insecurities.  I want my securities to be met, head on, with grace.  Challenged and combated.  Let them die with humbleness when I'm still 40.  I don't want my judgments clouding my hope of people.  Let judgments fall away, leaving only wonder and intrigue.  I especially don't want my scaredy cat self dictating my movement, now or in 20 years.  Whether I act today or don't act, this day is still creating itself.  It's still happening.  Am I taking chances to be more or am I staying comfortable where challenge is stuffed and I'm predictable? This is not growing. This is not living. I am not reaching.

Who I am today does not have to be who I am in 20 years.  Ah, let me evolve into character resonant of God's character.  From a feeble mind, I'm reminded of His standard of excellence yet handing down a grace to fill the gap we're bound to leave.  I'm aware of His galaxy of love covering the sins that entice. He's the prime judge with a plan that is constant and complete.  His investment shall  not return void.  I want to be part of... experiencing, mistaking, learning, wondering. I want to enhance, build, inspire, treasure in my world so as to bring great value to who He is. Our ruts trap us, keep us comfortable.  Our story is foretold with continuity when we react in habits held firm. There is no discovery.  There is no vulnerability involved or deep love realized. 

How many times I've wished I hadn't said something.  Acknowledged. Grace-covered. Shut your mouth. You're judgment or opinion isn't needed. Moving on. 

How many times I wish I wouldn't have been defensive.  Acknowledged. Grace-covered. Next time, take as information, not a personal attack. Moving on.

Feeling ugly, frumpy, out of date. Acknowledged. Grace-covered. Women are the WORST critics, especially of themselves. Love your sister.  Beauty is there. In a pinch, swallow your pride and call any one of your sisters-in-law, they. have. got. it. TOGETHER. Moving on.

My feelings, your feelings are not TRUTH. Feelings should not be acted on as your source of validation or used as an assessment of a situation.  Truth is truth.  Facts are truth. Feelings are unpredictable, change in a moment with no notice and dependant on long ago treatments by other humans with their own myriad of experience born feelings.  Feelings are full of flaws. They have crashing lows and romanticized highs, severity based on your dependence to them.  Feelings are feelings and truth is truth. Acknowledged. Grace-covered. Know truth, register the feelings, implement time. Trust truth. Moving on.

What would it be like if we all lived experiencing perspective, establishing a rule of daily growth and yes, sometimes this growth is gut wrenching? Would we be slower in our criticisms? Would we grasp the beauty of people differently if we challenged our wheel of repetition? Would our lens that interprets this complex world change? Would our color be more vibrant? Would growth and different and potential create an even greater contentedness? Something productive, something exhaustive, something worthy? You are an investment. Your choice is to participate. Do nothing? You will be exactly where you are right now. Choose to create new thought patterns, driving new behaviors, establishing a new light to radiate? You are an investment. Your response matters.

You are worth taking chances on. Be vulnerable. Know God. Trust truth. Acknowledge. Grace-covered. Modify. Moving on.


2 Peter 1:5-8 (ESV) "For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.  For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

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