Just Be

 August 2013 Change – embracing the hate of it. I HATE change.   Actually, I loathe it!   I constantly crave knowing what is coming next, where we are going, can I get around.   Just let me do my thing with no help and no one watching.   I want to blend in.   But this is seldom my reality, being in a wheelchair.   I cannot count the experiences where I couldn’t get into the restaurant, the hotel bed was too high for me to transfer into, I got lost and ended in a bad part of town but too scared to actually get out of my car, the bathrooms are too small, gravel and hills are the parking lot, and everybody watches and wonders. What will she do?   Good question. Our oldest is headed to college this fall.   She hates change just as much, probably because it is a trait I wouldn’t let go of and passed to her with great enthusiasm.   In discussing her anxiety, I explained how life is full of ebbs and flows, ups and downs.   ...

This is something I wrote a couple of years ago, reflecting what it was like for me those first days in the hospital.  Life is full of choices... In The Beginning Watching the news the other night, I saw a report about two high school teens, both recently paralyzed while playing hockey.   As I listened, instantly my heart sank and I felt ill.   I KNOW exactly their thoughts, the state of crisis bursting with questions.   What does this mean?   I’ll beat this, right?   Three months of therapy?!   Three different therapists – physical, occupational, recreational - daily…. Seriously?   What does a “Recreational Therapist” actually do ??   And why do I have to go?   I can entertain myself.   Why do you have to take my blood at four in the morning is completely irritating.   All of these thoughts scurrying through your head and people keep flowing in and out of your room, with you being the only constant.   It’s surr...